Hey! Im Shanice and I’m a 28 year old, and I lost my mom this year. I became a mom this year too.
I’ve been trying to think of how best to introduce this blog for months now. It’s been an idea for years. Well before I’d even lost my mom. I initially wanted to blog about being a carer as a young adult. I wanted to give people my honest experience to help them on their own journeys of caring for their loved ones. I asked mom what she thought about it and she said it was a good idea. I really wanted to do it but I ended up never really having the time. The idea was still there though.
My mom passed on March 12th, 2020. I think I can speak for my brother when I say it was the worst day of our lives. Although my mom was very unwell, I didn’t see it coming so soon and it still doesn’t feel real. I haven’t been the same since and it is clear things will never be as they were.
I gave birth to my darling daughter July 31st, 2020. My life changed again, only this time for the better. I have experienced a love I never knew existed. Even with the immense joy my daughter brings to me, I am still fighting the lows of grief every day. Sadness, guilt, anger and frustration are constantly tugging at me, even though my heart is often bubbling over with sheer love my princess.
I am quite an open person, that loves to talk but often struggle to find the words to articulate how I’m feeling at anyone moment these days. That being said. I know I’m not the only person in this position. I’m not the only person to have lost a parent or become a parent but often I feel as though I am the only one that has ever felt the way I do, as untrue as that is.
So this blog is a space for me to share my experience as a new mom grieving the loss of my own mom. Grief is such a unique experience, though there are elements to it that we all share. I’ll be sharing as I live it, “it” being; grief and motherhood. Sometimes separately, sometimes together. Sometimes it will be nothing to do with either because, why not?
I’m hoping that this will be therapeutic and cathartic for me and insightful for you. Things won’t be all doom and gloom because I often find pockets of sunshine in the darkness, but I will always be honest, as that’s just who I am. I’m hoping this will be just as resourceful for a parent with both of their parents still here as it is for the person who has lost a loved one but has no children of their own.
I don’t think I will have a posting schedule but I will endeavour to be as consistent as I can be.
Anyway, welcome to Momming Without Mom, I hope you enjoy it here! xx